AYJW

Parrot Trick Training

Poicephalus

Parrot Forum

i can't hear an ambulance without
remembering. all days go by
and i stand, a staircase lost beneath my feet
and a shadow mocking my steps. so i don't walk.

a silence has told me what all songs keep inside--
a secret, a key muted by rust,
i wake and think my dreams must have been the world's
last joke. its last laugh dries on my lips and
spitting it out is such a hideous chore.
maybe i'll have to summon tv, a ghost,
shoulders half-hidden and face erased with a fist.

my first attempt is gone. i don't remember it,
i don't try.

i can't hear myself. i can't try. a midnight stroll
is all my frame can take. still, i wake. i drown
without leaving my bed and
somehow it fits. the world's grand scheme plays out
and i like a giant tower of cards, feel my heart stick
like diamonds, like plants too tired to move.

wake in a moment and say i'm left alone--but
not to die, not to dream. it's all a lie. a whisper
is all i can muster. i try to name the lie, to
coil it like fingers, silent snakes that never do as i please.
dreams end. but if they ever began, i missed them, lost
to the oceans of sleep.