Ode to TheatreBy Razi Celosia
I was at the party.
People saw the sorrow on my face,
No one knew why.
I didn't want them to.
I never told anyone before.
Never mentioned the fights,
Never mentioned the tears,
Never mentioned the pain.
But now, as I explained to them,
My tears finally came out,
I created a storm all my own,
finally my sobs were dry.
My mom swore me to secrecy.
I never ran away,
Because my mom needed me.
She needed me to see,
So I'd know what to be wary for.
Mom says never to marry a man like Dad.
She says, "if 20 years ago,
You told me your father'd be like this,
I'da laughed you off the face of the Earth!"
But I see myself looking more and more
For men like my father,
Because that's the impact he's had on me,
Even though I know it's wrong.
Even though I know it's not what mom wants.
He doesn't let me go out on weekends,
Doesn't let me stay out at night,
Because I spend so much time at school.
But he doesn't understand,
It's to get away from him.
He doesn't understand,
It's so I don't hear him screaming.
He doesn't understand,
It's so I don't hear mom sobbing.
You all care so much.
I'm so sorry I never told you before,
I never wanted any of you to know,
Because you're so happy when I'm happy.
So I always put on a face,
A happy mask to spare you my paine.
But, like my happiness,
You also wanted to share my agony.
I don't know how many nights I cried alone,
Because no one knew, there was no one I'd tell.
But now you know,
And you want to cry with me.
I never realized how close everyone really is.
Thank you so much, Theatre,
For caring so much about my sorrow and me.
I love you all.
© Razi Celosia |